Self-compassion when things go awry

Who has opened your laptop to start a telehealth session only to find that your computer has decided to require an update at-this-exact-inopportune-moment? Or, who has logged in to a platform to do something you've done 100 times before only to find that it's changed, and now you're confused? Who has seen a message from a client pop up and then forgotten to respond as you got pulled into the demands of your day? Not to mention, who has done the dreaded - double-booking of clients?? <shudder>

Who else gets flustered when things don't work as expected? Who feels the instant overwhelm & pressure & and sense of flailing?

Hand raised high here! I have done exactly all of the above and even had a full on temper tantrum when I couldn't get a flashdrive to work.

It's bad enough when I'm alone trying to figure something out and I get stuck. It's one million times worse when a client or my team is waiting on me, and each second of waiting feels like a century.

Throw in how our sensitive nervous systems appreciate routine and can descend into panic mode when faced with the unexpected, not to mention how as highly sensitive people, we tend to perform less well when watched or under pressure.

EEEK! These moments of things-not-working can feel like pure failure.

Of course, our therapist selves know this is not true. We are obviously not a failure because there's a technology hiccup.

But, our human selves? Our hearts and souls feel heavy and disappointed. We feel like we've let other people down, which is about the last thing we want to do.

Yet, we know this is normal. It's to-be-expected that things will go wrong. Life is Murphy's law in action and on repeat ad nauseum.

It still feels like crap anyway. Even the "small" problems can really linger in our sensitive bodies.

So, let's tend to our souls when things go awry. Put a hand over our heart, and remind ourselves that we tried and things will go wrong. It is ok. It's also okay to cry or ask for a hug or curl up on the couch for a little while and let the feelings flow through us.

We're therapists AND we're sensitive human beings. Let's offer ourselves the same kindness we would to a client.

And, when we have some energy again, we can ask ourselves if this is an opportunity to model or share our vulnerability.

Like, I've been trying to get this newsletter going for over 6 months.

I thought I was going to "launch" and share it with lots of communities last summer. Then, overwhelm and changes in my private practice took over my attention (not to mention those tedious tech issues like needing to switch to a different newsletter platform because the other one wasn't working correctly and then spending waaaay too much time researching which one to use. Can anyone relate??).

I can get pulled and pushed easily by what's happening externally. Emotionally, I often find it easier to get sucked into what's calling my attention at that exact moment than to stick to following my plans, especially if those plans feel a bit fuzzy or if I'm not quite clear what my end goal is. Also, if something feels kinda scary, it's way easier to look in the other direction. I feel the urgency of the moment calling me, and I lose my inner guidance.

That is what happened with this blog. I dipped my toes in, let myself get nervous and distracted, and pulled my toes out.

But I'm deciding to do this now. I'm making the commitment to show up with support for your sensitive therapist souls each month.

So, I'm going to hit restart. Stay tuned for new support coming your way later this month.

Thanks for being on this journey with me! And for your compassion with my own messy humanness.